Imagine every time you looked at someone, you got a projected slideshow of their entire life and could digest it all in just one look.

This intriguing notion swirled in my mind as I sat beside a colleague in a crowded BRT bus. The air was heavy with the scent of a hard day’s work and exhaust fumes, mingling with the stench of waste from the garbage truck we were unfortunately stuck next to in the slow-moving traffic. However, the discomfort of the situation faded into the background as I gazed out the window at a place where I had once lived, and my thoughts were flooded with childhood memories. 

Back then, my biggest concern was persuading my older brother to let me ride his bicycle. My mother was alive and well, and the concept of having a little brother 11 years later was unimaginable. I was engulfed by nostalgic thoughts of “if only” and “how I wish,” but my deepest desire at that moment was to act like a tourist guide offering the most extraordinary tour ever— pointing out the window and saying, “Look there! That’s the street where I paraded around in nothing but my underwear when I was five,” or “hey! That’s where my mom’s shops were; she was renowned in this area and was affectionately known as ‘Iya Alaje of car wash’.” Perhaps then, all the passengers on the bus would share in the happiness that had filled my childhood and the grief that had stolen the joy and smiles from my face. Maybe I would also glimpse the turbulent memories that had shaped these men and women who now busily tapped on their screens, gazed into the distance, or dozed off— worn from a day of toiling at jobs they despised. 

But that was not to be. As we drove past the familiar neighbourhood, my shoulder brushed against that of my dozing colleague, and all that marked this moment were my sorrowful eyes, a tightness in my chest, and the recurring thought in my mind: “Just imagine every time you looked at someone, you got a projected slideshow of their entire life and could digest it all in just one look.” 

In that fleeting moment, I realized that grief is a lifelong battle, silently etching itself into the tapestry of our lives, weaving memories of joy and sorrow, love and loss, into the complex human experience. It reminds us that behind every face we see, there is a unique story, often hidden, but always waiting to be understood and empathized with.

On this World Mental Health Day, let us acknowledge the enduring struggle of grief, and strive to create a world where compassion and understanding can help heal the wounds that remain hidden behind the smiles we encounter every day. 

If you need to speak with a counselor, Call or text: 07025002018 or click the link below.

Feyisayo Adekunle

@sayo.ad

Instagram/Twitter/LinkedIn: @OurBETALife